Small ones lead to bigger ones… Bigger ones effect even more people!
Kush Cowboys - Scale Gang
That’s the Jay-Z track that my shuffle decided to play for me.
Picture this, you’ve just had a pretty good day, full of laughs and smiles… Then as you leave the gym, take your phone off of Airplane Mode and you see that you have Text, Voxer messages, that haven’t been seen by you. You choose to check your text first, and you see it’s from your little sister… You smile cause you haven’t talked or seen her in a while, but she’s just letting you know that one of your friends has died… Only to find out later that he was gunned down while coming out of the barbershop.
You’re standing on State between Congress and Balbo. You’re facing North and as you look further up State street your eyes become surrounded by tears as you stand there frozen in time, while you feel all the happiness you had gained from earlier get swept away with a gust from the wind that was blowing east heading towards the lake… You’re still standing there and as you look back at your phone you find out you’ve spent a whole ten minutes standing in that same spot.
You’re in denial, you figure that your sister has made a mistake it something.
Next, you find yourself in front of Robert Morris University-Illinois and you breakdown in tears because deep down you know it’s true.
You gather yourself and figure that if you could just get home you’ll be able to maintain until you’ve found a more comfortable setting for you to get everything together and understood.
You make it home and it’s exactly what you thought. Your little mans from the hood got gunned down coming out of the barbershop. You find out that he’s been shot in the head, chest and even his privates.
You’re in pain, depression even. Trying to make sense of it all. You’re in Voxer with you’re Bro from another in shock. As you leave messages, you’re having a hard time finishing sentences and thinking clear enough to even finish thoughts out.
So now that you’ve walked in my shoes from jump street add this along with it.
Remembering the last time he almost lost his life in a previous encounter. And he looks you in your eyes and tell you “We already lost Gino, I’m trying to get back right, imma try to get back Hoopin!”
Remembering how excited he was to show you that he could dunk!
Remembering going to church together!
Remembering that y’all moms were cool with each other and his little sister used to hang with your brothers and sisters!
Remembering him cracking jokes!
Remembering talking to him and finding out that his little sister had dreams of playing basketball for Duke and how he was inspiring her to follow her dreams and work hard!
Remembering shaking his hand after seeing him a few weeks back!
Remembering trying to inspire him to do something positive!
Remembering finding out he raps and wanted to take it somewhere, because he wanted better for himself and his kids!
Remembering seeing him in his first rap video! You happy, smiling, and hoping that he would succeed!
Then, remembering that those will be the last good memories that you will ever have with him!
And Also Remembering that he has kids and a family that’s probably in pain as well!
And Finally Remembering That The Hood That I Hold Up So Highly… Keeps Taking The Ones You Love! :’(
And all of this happened in a matter of 4 hours!
Along with this, you’ve already lost so many, some blood others not!
Then remembering that you can’t hide and ball up in a shell, be you still have to live!
That’s how it feels to be me right now!
Rest In Peace To :
Willie Joe Cephus (Joe-Joe) Edgeston
Judith Arlene (Grandma) Dickerson
I Love And Miss You All, May GOD Keep You Close To Him!!!
Thanks For Reading